Saint Whiz is the crime fighter Philadelphia has been waiting for!



His secret identity is Chaz Whitman, founder of the Philadelphia Society for Ethical Bovine Treatment. A clever disguise, as it allows him to access information about members of local communist intelligence groups deviously disguised as organizations dedicated to the distribution of Vegan cookbooks. The founder of the leading cookbook company is Gus Cloverson who may or may not secretly be Saint Whiz’s arch nemesis… the Crimson Caper! Peta activist, eco-terrorist and master of dastardly deeds, the Crimson Caper is determined to remove all cheese steaks from the City of Brotherly Love!

Saint Whiz first encountered the Crimson Caper in 1998 when all the napkin dispensers at Geno’s Steaks mysteriously went missing! This malicious misdeed against the famous eatery was quickly set right by our hero; and since then, he has been blocking shot after shot in the Crimson Caper’s crusade against Philadelphia’s most prized delicacy.

Bullets and flamethrowers are no match for Whiz’s cheese-blaster that pummels the bad guys and advocates of inferior sandwiches with cheese whiz. In the rare case that he runs out of ammo, his first back-up weapon is the torpedo torpedo… a torpedo gun that utilizes all the stale torpedo rolls from local steak establishments in a way that not only maims enemies, but also provides food for Philadelphia wildlife! In the worst case scenario, Saint Whiz can win the fight without any artillery because his biceps are like solid steal from the 40 grams of protein in each of his three square meals a day... all of which are, of course, cheese steaks.